Saturday, November 28, 2009
- 7:11 AM
went boating today.gosh i had no idea how bad my steering was all along.
boating was a blast!!!
...
...
actually it wasnt i just wanted to say that cause it seemed fun to say.
=/
ahh its been so boring lately.
i told myself i would study for the sake of killing time but i did not cause i just got myself addicted to a taiwan game.
hey i'm a game critic i try out new mmorpg every now and then and i usually quit before they even have the chance to get me past the tutorial stage.
why?
cause 90% of the pathetic mmorpgs out there were probably made by some idiots from a polytechnic (not nessecarily from singapore) and is 99% pathetic cause its like their fyp or something like that.
it too conceptual, its like if i do it like this other game, people will quit because some other game did it before already and the reception was bad.
no dude, it doesnt work like that, what gamers probably look for is sense of achivement.
its the feeling that they are doing something meaningful even though they really arent.
part of the reason why DotA is so so succesful.
then you dont create another game that is exactly the same as the succesful game just because its reception was good.
its pointless.
sigh how do i ever get this into these idiots brains.
why do they make gaming a 30 point course??
anyway the taiwan game i got quite addicted too, i'd say its above average.
seriously.
the thing about taiwan games, they are almost in synch with korea and japan.
which is probably what i all i could ask for.
to get a freaking japan id or korean kssn would probably require 1337 hacking into the international system board.
ahh damn, just released the gamer side of me.
it just never seems to die.
once u reach the top, its very hard to get down.
just like alcohol.
speaking of which, i just put down my second mix of Matador.
yesterday i told myself i wouldnt take alcohol although i usually would during weekends and public holiday eves.
to sleep half drunk is already an awesome feeling and it helps give me the extra sleeep that i require during the weekdays.
yea i told my self i wouldnt but i did. i told myself that because today i had boating practical and i did because i felt like there was nothing better to do and so happened i got my hands on some pineapple juice.
i got this recepie, for my new tequila.
its called Matador.
and so i mixed it and downed it the night before my boating practical.
sure enough i set my alarm at 7 and woke at 8.30.
thank god practical was at 9.30
hahahaha.
yea my predictions are godly.
i can tell you, after that one mix, i told myself i wouldnt try tequila clean.
god.
it was at least 3 times stronger than a vodka clean.
the mix was 3 times stronger then vodka clean.
i didnt believe so i tried it again today.
and this time the effect wasnt that strong.
i have this theory.
the rate alchohol gets you drunk depends on you emotional state.
bored, heartbroken, happy, satisfied, missing something... anything
it is a universal indicator.
if you put too little, you cant tell the color.
and then there is no limit to how much u should input.
as long as you see the color, you know.
probably today i felt less bad then yesterday.
and i admit it was pretty accurate.
i felt more occupied today.
yesterday i spend 16 hours in front of my computer.
i also have another theory which i had since a long time ago.
and it starting to show effect.
it is that alcohol lowers my IQ and increases my EQ.
i shouldnt be using such scientific terms.
i dont really believe in IQ and EQ.
however just as a general guideline,
i havnt been doing to well in school
havent been able to concentrate too well
but started saying lots of things that i wouldnt have said normally
cared more about how i present myself...
bla bla..
although i would prefer to still consider myself as a higher IQ type,
i do sense that my own IQ is falling to boderline standards.
it may be because i have been surrounded by people with high IQ since i entered poly.
i do not disregard that possibility.
it maybe because i have lost that self confidence i usually had when learning something new.
however i do believe if i learn more new things i can increase my own IQ eventually.
i'll look for new things too learn.
its the alternative approach to focusing on school work.
which i would never do.
i have this theory (again) that the more things i learn, the more skills i have, the higher my intelligence.
its basically a gamer's theory.
and i choose to abide by that rule.
either ways if this plan proves to be a false, what i have in exchange is a handful of new skills, which either way i benefit.
bah, drinking the same alcohol the second tiem doesnt give you enough kick.
i'm gonna find a way to get drunk.
alright cyall.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
- 8:06 AM
"Strawberry Pocky contains an organic compound that triggers an Endorphin rush. Gives you the feeling of being in love when you really aren't...""So... the feelings weren't real?"
"..."
"..."
"one."
"two."
"goodbye."
No, thats chocolate, Willy Wonka told me, and i tested it out myself. So, explain now, were the feelings real?
Perhaps, there aren't such things such as 'real feelings'?
A guy and a girl gets together, they're happy, its real feelings. When they don't see eye to eye, they fight they break, those real feelings become defined fake. Thats basically it?
So it was made up?
You wrongly accused the Strawberry Pocky. But thats not a crime.
The crime was, the incorrect diagnosis of my illness.
I mean usually, if the crime was a minor theft, and on the account that it was a first time offence... you'd probably just have to return it, apologize, and get away with a warning.
But its an illness.
How serious is this illness, is there cure? does it cause deaths?
There is no cure and it does cause deaths. In other words, its a terminal illness.
If was alerted in the early stages, i might have gotten the cure.
But the wrong diagnosis lead me to take large amounts of Strawberry Pocky.
Then according to your diagnosis doctor, my Endorphin supply has been depleted.
All i ask for, is that.
Give me back my ability to feel.
And perhaps along with that, some of my sanity.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
- 6:05 AM
vodka + milo is a dangerous mix.even if it were just a little.
i swear.
oh god...
oh god...
i am freaking sure its somewhere in between my small and large intestines where the pain is coming from.
at first i thought it was my liver, from excessive alcoholic consumption.
or if it were fucking stomach cancer... i would seriously fuck the hell out of this world right now.
the pain is bearable, but it doesn't go away.
its not like those vommiting pain, stomach cramp pain, indigetion pain, food poisoning pain... etc. its those SWELL up pain. right under my belly button.
when did it began?
i imbibed the legendary mixture down right before escapade. (to increase my proactivity and talkativness, EQ in general, its my charisma potion)
it wasnt very powereful then i thought it was jsut my empty stomach reacting.
but even after i ate, that feeling was still there, it was most certainly not hunger.
and as the day continued, the feeling, note i said feeling not pain yet, sustained.
on and on and on... then it suddenly grew stronger... don't know when and how.
and with the coupling effect of starvation i can swear it pretty difficult to endure.
and the additional forces such as insane jumping to the music at that midnight gig thing.
no i did not take much, it was only meant to give me a small boost.
and yes it did take effect, under normal circumstances i would reject and offer to sing on stage, yet i actually sang "accidentally in love" to a crowd of approximately 200, with my impromptu, random voice.
hey, dudes dont be dissapointed with my performance, i was so close, SO CLOSE to singing "dont wanna miss a thing".
ohh fuck... if this sustains till wed i'll find a doctor.
though i must say it tasted really awesome.
get it?
Friday, November 13, 2009
- 8:58 AM
i am freaking tired and yet i cannot sleep.i can swear this is due to the alcohol addiction, dont need and expert to tell.
my head hurts like mad...
i am stocked, but i can't really take it out and just drink it like that right now...
u see. if i drink just a little, my parents wouldnt say anything but it will have no effect whatsoever and would be a pure waste.
if i were to take huge gulps they'd be more like "whats gotten into you?"
so it better to not drink at all, yet this kind of feeling...
is the kind of feeling you get when you are having relationship problems.
...
i'm not having relationship problems.
honest
...
bah who am i kidding.
rain please tell me now does it seem fair,
for her to steal my heart away when she don't care?
stealing is a crime.
even if you stole something unknowingly... you can't just say you didn't know.
you cant apologise.
you cant return it an pretend nothing ever happened.
you cant run away and expect the owner not to realise it eventually.
so if your meaning is that you did it unintentionally...
...
but i dont think stealing was what you did, you're not guilty.
cause you dint steal it.
i deposited it to you unintentionally.
it like typing in the wrong bank account number.
i just want it back now...
i want it back so so bad...
or just give me something of equal value at least.
thats assuming i did it unintentionally, do you find that hard to believe?
Monday, November 09, 2009
- 7:38 AM
the song is almost done... feels so much like the best one i ever written... and it feels like.. episode 2 begins..
so fast.. when i put myself in other peoples shoes, to have Mr Sin fall for you its quite a scary thing...
he will keep thinking of how to get you and what to do after he gets you..
and everytime he passes by some really good candy or some really romantic place to hang out... he will start to imagine and already he calculates in his mind how he can manage his finance so that he can treat that lucky one real good.
he like.. so whatever. i think i can do much better... i think we should get together now~
LOL
sighh any avril song would just remind me of sad pasts...
so i write my own.
A Boy Insanely in Love with you.
C F C G7
One more step to make you mine, I can’t hold back no more
C F C G.
The reason that I’d fall for you, that reason needs no clue~
CaddG FaddG CaddG G
If you say “But I don’t know you”, what difference will that do?
C7 Dm G
No amount of alcohol can stop my heart! Beat! Now!!
Am F C E7
If you say that I am crazy maybe that is true.
Am F C G7
But the fact that I’m in love with you, can’t deny it to~
F C
I’m standing at the door,
F C
My heartbeats racing fast,
F Fm C
No, I can’t hold back anymore~
F G Em Am
If I said that I was a boy, insanely in love with you,
F G Em Am
Would you be the only girl, to see if my hearts true?
F G EmholdG A7
If I wrote it in a thousand words and paint it on my wall~
F G*hold*
Would you believe me when I say~
C F Dm G
I love you~ you~ you~ you~ X3
Saturday, November 07, 2009
- 11:43 PM
yea took a webcam photo using my laptop. and decided to act cute a little. ^^
anyway i wrote a new song.. goes like this:
if i said that i was a boy,
insanely inlove with you~
would be the only girl,
to say you love me too~
if our hearts weren't meant to be,
then tell me why does ____________~~
cause i love youu~~ ouu~~~ ouuuu~~~ ouuuuu~
i love you~ ouu~ ouuuu~ ouuuuu~~
ol< oging see seafood now bbye!!
Friday, November 06, 2009
- 6:55 AM
fact remains i cant wait forever, its my character.